Tuesday, August 28, 2007

happy first day of school!

started today....
for my sisters, that is.
kinda feels weird.
it sucks.

i mean i'm so glad to be done with high school....
but dammit I just miss the whole "feel" of it all, ya know??
I'm kinda jealous of my sister, especially cuz her school is soooooo much better than MHS... hahaha

Saturday, August 25, 2007

back in San Jose

so i was away in LA for a week and now i'm back here in San Jose...
LA was alright I guess... but it was just too damn hot for me.
I kinda miss being down there though.... haha
oh well. Hollywood was fun. Saw Captain Jack Sparrow walking around.
the real one. well, that's all for now.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

previous posts from other blogs

So, like I said with my previous entry... here are the previous entries that I posted on other blogs....

July 30, 2007 - Monday

don't mind me... I'm just being emo.
Current mood: depressed

It's hard, you know?
moving to a new place.
a place that's thousands of miles away from home.
the home that you have known and loved for 18 years.
this place.... thousands of miles away from the people you love...
it's haunting.
Ever since I came here I've been dreaming every night.
every night, I dream of home.
Saipan and people from saipan.
just random people that I would talk to and spend time with.
it's hard being so far away from everyone.
it's hard missing everyone like crazy.
but the hardest part,
is ending up emo like me.
you end up emo because you think that no one cares.
because it seems like no one is making any effort to contact you.
I mean I'm not blaming you guys or whatever...
cuz I know...
it's not like the world revolves around me and shit like that.
but still.
I've seen people leave.
I know how much you communicate with those people.
but whatever.

August 2, 2007 - Thursday

Current mood: blah

i give up.
no one cares.
my life here is shit anyway.
i can't do anything right.
I just make problems for my family.
everything's a mess.
i can't ever be useful.
i'm just a waste of time.
a waste of sperm.
I never should have been born.
i'm just a big fucking mistake.
they say that god's perfect.
well maybe I was his mistake.
this body was put to waste by being paired with this soul.
i'd give it up for any other deserving soul anyday.
if only it were that easy.
if only I could just give my life away like that.
i honestly don't know what's going to happen now.
i just really don't feel like living anymore.
i've truly given up on life.
i guess this is goodbye............
have fun with your lives, people.
don't be a wasted soul like me.
I know there are many different reasons as to why most of you guys aren't contacting me.
busy with work, busy with school, busy with other friends, busy carrying on with your lives....
whatever the reason is...
why do I even bother.....
oh well.
don't mind me, I'm just being emo.
sorry for wasting your time.
...if you even bothered to read this.

My current status

so I haven't exactly posted anything here yet.
I posted them on my other blogs... I'm thinking i'll just copy and paste it over here so you can all see just how miserable I was when I first got here. hahaha.
I'm doing so much better now, though. I'm finally over my homesickness, and that's always a good thing. Of course, I still miss home hella crazy but I realized that you just have to move on with your life or you're not gonna get anywhere. I've been looking for a job since I got here, but I'm starting to lose hope that I'll get hired anytime soon... But I guess it's alright since I only have a little over a month left here in San Jose anyway... Life here has been pretty boring for me lately though; I usually just clean the house and fix things up and stuff... cuz when we moved in here there was a lot of work that needed to be done... we're still not done with everything.

I met up with a fellow islander though, and that was nice. It kinda helped me get over my loneliness to see another guy from Saipan here in San Jose. Well anyway, there's my status update for you guys back home.. More to come in the future.