Happy Veterans Day 2014

"The Forgotten"
By Kelvin Rodeo 

Every year, we dedicate one day in November 
To thank our veterans and appreciate 
Their service and sacrifice, to tell them we remember
By offering them some free food on a plate.

We revel in this day and thank every veteran we see
Or encounter when we go out
But we forget about those who from society are absentee
Many of whom are the real thing that this day is about.

What of our brothers and sisters who live in the dark
Forgotten by our government and our society
Many of whom forced to live on the streets or at the park
Many even suffering from mental illnesses of a variety.

One in every four homeless people is a veteran
Someone who put their lives on the line in the service of this nation
But we seem to have forgotten about these brethren
And their numbers grow larger generation after generation.

But what about those who do have a home
And have still apparently been forgotten
The ones who live in their own little personal dome
Whose minds and thoughts are left to become rotten?

What about our brothers and sisters fighting internal battles every day
Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, flashbacks, PTSD
They've got so many internal demons to slay
Ignored and abandoned by the bourgeoisie?

Every day, at least 22 veterans commit suicide
Succumbing to the demons that plague their mind
Too tired of all the times they've cried
While everyone else, to their plight, was blind.

Americans believe that we are free
Every year we thank our veterans for it
But how thankful can anyone truly be
When so many of our veterans, we have allowed society to omit?

I dedicate this day to the forgotten and abandoned among us
Those who truly deserve all of this attention
About their situation we need to start a fuss
Happy Veterans Day to those who are never mentioned.

I've given up.

Life just seems to trivial, so pointless now. It's pathetic, but I honestly don't care about my life or my future anymore. I mean, it's not like I'll amount to anything in life, anyway, right? As far as my dad's concerned, I'm just a useless 23 year-old kid who does nothing to contribute to society, let alone the home I live in. I mean, after having my dad rub it in my face the other day, it just really hit me deep at my core, the fact that I really am useless and nothing I've done is of any worth and I'll never amount to anything in life. I haven't been able to sleep since that night, and I haven't been going to school this week. What's the point? I'll just mope around lost in my own little world of self-loathing; it'll just be another bother for everyone else.

I tried to make my life mean something by being an activist and fighting against injustice and corruption no matter where I encountered it, but even that has become meaningless to me. I mean, it's not like the things I say or post actually have any effect. Who am I, for it to affect people on that level? I'm no one famous, my word means shit to the world. I'm just another random crazy fanatical conspiracy nut to everyone. I suppose, if I don't die anytime soon, I'll end up being that deranged lonely old man who lives by himself who everyone stays away from. I'll just be another washed up meaningless waste of a life.

At this point I'd imagine I've been dropped from my classes for my absences. Oh well. It's not like school was actually doing anything for me anyway. I was going to school to try to feel like I meant something to this world. I was going to school because I thought I had a future to work towards. But I see the pointlessness of it all, now. Deep down, I know that it's all pointless because I'll never be more than just this useless shell of a human being. I'm empty. Nothing seems to be enjoyable anymore. Nothing that I used to find joy in can comfort me now, it seems. Playing games isn't as fun since that night. Watching my favorite Japanese shows isn't as enjoyable anymore. Even Doctor Who and Torchwood can't seem to shake me from this. Oh well, I guess this is just the way my life goes.

My best friend Cole even called me all the way from Iowa the night that it happened, and it did help me a little bit, but the next morning I was in the same shitty mood again. I just don't see the point of anything anymore, you know? If my dad thinks that all I ever do with my life is sit at home playing games on the Xbox and computer, then I'll just have to live up to his expectations. And that's exactly what I've been doing since that night, staying home playing Xbox all day. It's not even that fun for me anymore since that night, but whatever. At least this way I'll finally be living up to someone's expectations. It's ok, I've accepted that that's all I'm good for. I'll probably just end up being a sad, fat, 30 year old kid who lives with his parents and stays at home playing video games all day. Oh well, I guess that's my role in life. I'd never kill myself; I could never do such a thing. But this is my life now, hopeless, no future, no nothing. Sucks to be me. Here's to life!

Soliloquy

I'm a useless 23 year-old kid who lives at home and leeches off of my parents because I can't get a job no matter how hard I try and how long I look. I'm worthless. Useless. A useless eater. I'll never amount to anything in life, and nothing seems to have any real meaning anymore; I have no drive, no motivation to do anything. I'm not even taking school seriously, to the point of probably failing at least one class this semester. Even all of my activism has begun to feel pointless. It's not like I'm actually making a difference in this world, anyway. I mean, who the fuck am I, this lowly peasant named Kelvin Rodeo, for people to believe what I say and do? I'm nothing, I'm nobody. My existence is a worthless one. Everything that I did was to try to start feeling something about life again, but I quickly discovered that all of that, too, will fade away and disappear. I guess nothing can really be exciting when you're such a worthless person.

I mean, really! What have I done in my 23 years of this worthless existence that anyone will ever have a good memory about? Absolutely nothing! When I die, I will just be some other guy who died, no one special, no one worth talking about or mourning over. I'm all alone in this cold, dark place. But it's ok. I'm just a fucked up kid who fucks up everything he touches. It's good that I'm alone, can't hurt anyone that way. I'm so tired of this. All of it. This thing called life is a joke. What's the point of it all? Why am I on this earth if all I can do is fuck up and piss people off or make them sad? What a cruel joke if that is all there is to this existence. Who would want to live a life like that? A life where I only hurt the people who try to help me. I'll never be a good person no matter what I do. I can pray and pray and pray for change and I can try my hardest to change but no matter what, I always fuck up in the end and prove that I haven't changed. Do my prayers fall on deaf ears? Most likely, but it doesn't hurt to try. But I'm tired of trying. Tired of it all and how pointless it is. Why am I alive? Why must I cause so much suffering? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!?!?

Sometimes I wish I could just go crazy, like be one of those people in an insane asylum who isn't there at all because they're in their head in some imaginary world all the time. I figure that's the only way out of this. I'm so pathetic I can't ever kill myself because deep down I'm too scared to die. Because I know how much more pain that would cause, and I couldn't bear that kind of a burden, even in the afterlife.

*sigh*

You know what I hate? I hate making my mom sad and/or mad. I love her too much, and it pains me to see her any way but happy. But you know what I hate more than that? Myself, because no matter what I do or say, I will always end up making my mom sad and/or mad. Tonight my mom came to my door to ask me if I was an atheist, because she sees everything that I post that is atheist-related. We got into an argument over it because she said that it offended her and that I shouldn't post any of that stuff up and then I told her that Facebook was the only thing in my life that I still had control over, so I didn't appreciate that she was trying to tell me what I could and couldn't post on Facebook.

Then she said that I should stop posting that kind of stuff because it offends her, so I told her that if it offends her, she should just remove me from her friends list so that she doesn't have to see my posts on her newsfeed anymore. Later she brought up that she raised us to be Christians/Catholics and I told her that it was absurd that she wanted me to still believe (even after everything that I've been through in life, and all the books and research that I've read, etc.) up to now. And then at one point she said "Just don't question those things," and then that's when I just really blew up on her. I wasn't shouting at the top of my lungs of whatever, but there was a definite increase in my volume as my frustration was at its peak levels at the time. And then she said something and just walked away.

I know I made her sad and/or mad because of all that tonight, and it's killing me right now. This is even worse than the last time I had to deal with something like this. Why do I have to decide either to not offend my mom or to continue to be the authority-questioning freethinker that I really am? It's really depressing me to know that I'm offending my mom just by being myself and posting things that question everything that I've been taught all my life. It's just……I don't even know. *sigh* I love my mom so much, and I don't want to offend her and I don't want to make her sad/mad and anything like that, but can I really stop being myself? Can I really resist the urge to post the things that I always post? It's killing me!!!! This is who I am, and I can't change that. I don't want to live a lie and pretend like I'm this God-fearing Christian kid that she raised. I can't. And that kills me, because I know that it upsets her, but I can't change anything about it.

I've cried multiple times tonight after that incident, and I am crying as I type this blog entry right now. You have no idea how much it kills me to have upset my mom tonight. I was just being myself and doing what I normally do. I'm sorry. Sometimes, life is just really shitty, you know? I fucking hate my life. Sometimes, I wish that I had never been born, because my entire existence is littered with numerous instances of me upsetting my mom. Time after time, no matter what I do and no matter how I try to change, I always, always upset my mom in the end. And it kills me to know that that is my existence in a nutshell. What kind of life is that, to know that no matter what you do you will always be hurting your mother in the end? Over and over again. I'm so sick of it.

In case anyone was wondering, THIS is why I don't believe in your kind and loving God, who, I learned from the 8 years that I went to Christian schools, supposedly plans out everything in our lives before we are even born. Why would he make me just to live out a life that he had planned out in advance, in which my very existence means my mother would suffer for as long as I live? If he really does exist, and he really does plan everything out like I was taught in school, then that God of yours is one mean ass deity, and I refuse to worship it ever again, let alone believe in its existence. Too bad that still doesn't change the fact that no matter what I do, I'm always gonna end up upsetting my mother. *sigh*

I don't know

I'm pathetic. I can't live with myself anymore but I can't just off myself either because even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes knowing how much pain I'll be causing the people I love the most. Just change, you tell me. Change, if you're not satisfied with the way your life is going. Easy for you to say. You don't know me. You don't know my life. You don't know what I go through on a daily basis. No one does. I keep it all locked up inside me because no one cares about what I'm going through. Everyone has their own problems to worry about. No time for me or my problems. And I don't want to be a burden on anyone anyway, so I don't go around telling everyone that I meet that I'm fucked up in the head and in life. Something is wrong with me. Something is terribly wrong with me. My life is shit. I'm in over my head in debt with no job and no income to pay it all off. I've been looking for a job for the past year and have had no luck whatsoever. I'm pretty much convinced that I'll never get a job, considering how the search has gone so far. I've pretty much fallen back into the same shithole I was in before school started. School helped for a while but now it seems like things are back to the way they were before. I'm probably failing all my classes now and I'm struggling to get by because I can't even afford my textbooks. Because I couldn't afford textbooks, my motivation was shot straight out the window. It didn't help that none of my teachers but one were motivational or interesting. I'm almost fully convinced now that college isn't for me, which then makes me think 5 years into the future where I'm a homeless bum scraping by with my failure of a life. Sometimes I just want to escape from it all. From this world. Take a nice little Soma vacation like they do in Brave New World. But even that would be useless, because as soon as that vacation is over I'd just be right back in this shithole of a life. I thought I could bring meaning back to my life by being a political activist and by fighting for what I believe in and trying to rile the masses of the CNMI into action, but even there I have failed. I guess I really am good at nothing but failing…. in all avenues of my life it seems that is my one common theme…..failure. So tell me, why am I still here? What point is there to my useless, worthless failure of a life? I just can't seem to figure it out. I can't ever kill myself. I won't. I refuse. But I do know that I cannot continue living this sorry excuse for a life. I'm pathetic. Goodbye for now, I guess I will take that Soma vacation, after all...

Tired

Who am I? Why am I here? What is the point of life on this Earth?

Obviously, I've been cursed since my birth.

Between the problems of this world and the problems of my own personal life,

My world is filled with far too much strife.

So much strife that I really don't want to go on.

I wish I could believe in the existence of a new dawn.

But no such thing exists; things will always be the same…

The problems abound and are far too many to name.

People keep telling me that things will get better,

But I think there's a better chance of us never seeing Rick Santorum wear another vest style sweater.

I'm tired. I'm so, so tired.

Sometimes I wish I could just be permanently fired.

Is there any hope? I just don't know.

If there is, it's moving towards me way too slow.

Way to go, Kelvin….*sigh*

I'm a fraud. A phony. I go about professing about love and how love is the answer and love will save us all and how we should love everyone and blah blah blah…. but I just can't do that anymore. I mean, how can I go around telling people about love when I can't even bring myself to love ME? I just don't love myself…not one bit. I despise my very being. I loathe the image I see in the mirror. I break everything I touch and I fuck everything up for everyone.

It's only the first day of the new year and I couldn't even do something as simple as keep a new year's resolution. My new year's resolution was to do everything in my power to make this a family again….to finally bring us back to the happy family that we once were….but I can't even do that. Not even a whole day into the new year and already I got into an altercation with my mother which resulted in me choosing to stay at home while the rest of the family goes down to Anaheim to visit an old family friend. *sigh*

I'm so fucking stupid….sometimes I just don't even want to exist anymore if all I ever do is cause the people I hold dearest a bunch of pain and misery. Goddammit. I can't ever do anything right. I hate myself so much…so much for a new year and a new start….it's just the same ole stupid me, continuing to fuck everything up for people. What's the point of even living anymore? The anti-depressants are obviously not even working on me anymore. Oh well…whatever, I guess. *sigh*

Just some stuff that's on my mind...

Boy, when the depression hits, it hits ya damn hard. Sitting around feeling worthless and without direction wondering what the point of living is right now. I had but one wish for Christmas this year, and that was for us to be a family again….and I couldn't even get that. This family is so screwed and this is such a broken home it's not even funny. I feel so sorry for my baby sister, that this is the kind of life that she has to grow up living…she deserves so much better. She's such a bright little kid and she has such a good future ahead of her….*sigh*

Story of my life, I guess….my family's never been the picture perfect example of what a family should be like. We've always had problems, ever since I was a little kid. I guess one could even say that I'm the source of all the problems in this family. I've tried to change, so many times I've tried but failed…and I'm just so tired of trying and failing in life. I failed my family, I failed myself, I failed the CNMI because I couldn't kickstart the revolution, I just fail at life, basically.

I'm so tired. I just don't know what to do anymore. Nothing adds up anymore. Really, what is the point of life? Is it to suffer? Because that doesn't seem like much of a life to me. With everything fucked up in my head and my life, I also have to deal with how fucked up the outside world is and how hopeless the situation seems out there too. With psychopaths making moves towards gaining complete control over the world population and restricting our rights and making our slavery complete, what is the point of living anymore? We fight and fight and fight but nothing ever changes….nothing.

It really is seeming pretty hopeless, so please forgive my sudden burst of negativity and extreme pessimism. I could only hold on to the optimist charade for so long. *sigh* Sometimes I just really wonder if this is all there is to life….just a bunch of pain and misery and suffering and eternal damnation as slaves in this Matrix world of illusion and deception… I'd like to think that there's so much more, but I just can't see it. Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel, aside from that light that you walk into when you're gone from this physical existence? Because I look into my tunnel and all I see is darkness. Eternal darkness for miles and miles, never ending……

Darkness. Forever. It engulfs me. Consumes me whole until I am no more. This is my life. I am a slave to the Matrix. Life is…..

Oh, what a night.

Sometimes I wonder if it's really all worth it, all the effort that I put into this mission... all the faith I put into the youth of the Marianas. I honestly feel miserable right now. It's as if all my dreams have been crushed.

On the Facebook group "You Know You're From Saipan ... ," two people who go by the names of "Fernando Falig" and "TonSex Demapan" have caused me to lose hope in this current generation of youth. Yeah, you can say that "they're just kids...give them time to grow..." blah blah blah all that stuff.... but you know what? "They're just kids" is NOT an excuse for someone to laugh about bullying causing a kid to commit suicide. Are our kids today REALLY this heartless and ignorant? I mean, REALLY? Have I been so blinded by my hopes for the future of the CNMI that I failed to see just how bad the youth of today is? I just.... I honestly don't know what to say. I mean, WOW. As if laughing about an 11-year old girl killing herself wasn't bad enough, they proceeded to DEFEND their actions when I confronted them about it... just...WOW. I honestly don't know what else to say, but WOW.

I just don't know anymore. I just don't know. I'm losing hope fast, folks. Help. Please. Before I lose all hope for our youth. Someone, please help.

My "Revival" Weekend

Well, there's really no point in me trying to explain that it's been a LONG while since I last posted anything on here, as you can all see that for yourselves. So I'm just gonna dive right into the meat of things and explain how this past weekend was my big "revival" weekend. Unfortunately, it's still gonna be a pretty long entry, because I really want to get the WHOLE story out there. I hope you do read it all, so you can see for yourself just where I am coming from right now.

For those of you who have been keeping up with me on Facebook through my constant status updates, you know that I have been having quite a miserable time lately (for the past few months it's been on and off, back and forth between being absolutely miserable and then totally "fine" on the outside), and it really got to its worst on Friday night. I honestly felt like just throwing in the towel and letting my life just go to shit (even more than it already has). But then, something happened. This is the story of how this weekend reaffirmed to me that everything (and I mean, EVERYTHING) happens for a reason, and that you are always exactly where you are supposed to be, when you are supposed to be there, doing what you're supposed to be doing.

It started on Friday night. I was packing my bags and getting ready to leave for Andrew's house, since he was my ride up to San Jose. I couldn't drive my car, so I was relying on my sister to take me to Andrew's house. The details of what happened next are kinda iffy in my head right now, but basically I was having some sort of conversation with my mom and sister and then she said something that really upset me, and so I raised my voice and she did the same, and things got pretty heated pretty quickly. It ended with me screaming at the top of my lungs, "You're not my fucking sister! (x2)" And so, needless to say, THAT pretty much blew away any chance I had of getting to Andrew's.

So I decided that I was going to walk all the way across LA county from Glendale to Marina del Rey, since I REALLY wanted to go to the Summer Conference, and that was the only way I saw that I was gonna get there. Now, you're probably wondering, "Why didn't you just ask your Mom to drop you off?" Well, I did, you see, but my mom isn't used to driving long distances at night, so she said she couldn't do it. And so, with my mind set on walking the whole way there, I posted it on Facebook, like I always do, posting every second of my life on there like it's the normal thing to do... And then while I was packing my bags and getting ready to leave, my sister knocks on my door. So I open it, and all she says is "I'll take you, ok?" Me, still being heated from earlier, REALLY wanted to say some snide remark, but decided to lower my pride and just say, "Ok."

So eventually I get to Andrew's place, and I was on Facebook on my iPhone (I just can't get enough of Facebook, it seems, eh?) reading and commenting on my best friend Trevor Roach's latest status update. He was in the same shitty mood I was in, which was becoming more and more common lately. So his friend T-roy and I pretty much invaded his wall post and had our own little conversation about life and shit like that, and man, this guy really inspired me! I mean, WOW. He'd been down on his luck for over 2 years already and was STILL alive and kicking, and STILL moving forward trying to make the best outta the cards he'd been dealt. I thought MY life was bad? This guy had been so low at one point that he was living in his car for a period of time! It was truly a huge slap in the face for me, and I immediately felt horrible that I was over here complaining on a daily basis about how bad my life is...and then I get this reminded from a friend of a friend living on the opposite side of the country that my problems ain't shit compared to what he's gone through, and what so many other people are still going through. Just...the way he looks at life, the way he goes on living day to day saying that it is what it is and he can only look forward, it's truly inspiring! It got me thinking, if HE can go on living and thinking like that even after all he's been through and is still going through, what RIGHT do I have to sit here and complain about my life when I don't even have it as bad as he does? That was the start of it all...the beginning of my decision to change. The events that transpired next were the true catalyst for this huge change in me, though. Keep reading, you won't regret it. I promise.

So we get to the BWW Summer Conference 2011, and things are going well, and there are all these speakers sharing their tips to becoming successful and stuff like that, and it was as if the flame inside me that had been sparked by my conversation with T-roy had just been fed a bunch of "fire food". That small little spark in me just grew and grew until the fires of passion and absolute excitement about being alive completely consumed me. I was experiencing a natural euphoria and I was getting hyped up about life! In less than 24 hours, I went from feeling the worst I had ever felt in my life, to feeling the absolute best that I had felt in a VERY long time. It was AMAZING! We eventually broke for dinner, and when we came back, there was this group performing a few songs about being successful in the business and stuff like that. They ended it with "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba. THAT was the kicker. Those words have never rang truer for me in my entire life! "I get knocked down, but I get up again; You're never gonna keep me down!" I mean, WOW! The rest of the night went with a few more presentations that really changed my life.

On Sunday morning, Matt woke me up and we got dressed and ready and went to the Christian service. Keep in mind, folks, that I am not a Christian. Those of you who know me, know why. Those of you who don't, that's another blog entry altogether, but I promise I will explain. When we got there, the same group that had been performing on Saturday's second half was on stage singing songs of praise. The song they were singing when we got there had something to do with how much we are all loved by Jesus and whatnot, I no shit, I started tearing up. I mean my eyes started to water and I almost broke down right then and there. It was EXACTLY what I had needed to hear. I had been feeling so unloved and unappreciated and unworthy of anything for the longest time, and for complete strangers to tell me that Jesus loves me, for some reason I just cracked. It hit a chord in my soul that hadn't been hit in a very long time. I felt all the energy from everyone around me as they all praised God and Jesus and stuff like that, and I was being revitalized by it. Slowly but surely I, the Kelvin you all once knew and loved, was coming back to life... but different. Better. But that's not even the best part. My Christian friends will LOVE what I am about to tell you all next. So the service progressed, and at the end of it all, Alan, who was speaking at the service that morning, led those who wished to participate in The Sinner's Prayer. I had never heard of it before, but I decided to say it along with everyone else anyway. In for a penny, in for a pound, you know? So we went on and said the prayer, and it got to some part about Jesus and washing away our sins or something like that, and again I just felt so LOVED and so moved by it all that my eyes began to tear up again... I was being completely washed over with so much positive energy and so much love that I just couldn't help but tear up. It was quite an experience, and I loved it! That said, though, and I'm sorry that this will probably disappoint all my Christian friends, I'm not returning to the Christian religion. Like I said, i have my reasons, and that's a whole different blog entry for a later time.

The rest of the day went on without a hitch, and I learned even more things that I needed to know to make my business successful and stuff like that. All in all, the Function was AMAZING and most definitely LIFE CHANGING. I will forever remember this past weekend as my Revival Weekend, because it was a weekend in which a long-dead part of me was brought back to life and took over my being. The part of me who actually believed in myself and knew that I could do whatever I set my mind to. The part of me who KNOWS beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything in our lives happens for a reason, and we may not know the reason right away, but ti will come to us in time. The part of me who is driven and won't stop moving forward, even after my goals have all been met. The part of me who knows that there is only one direction to move in, and that's FORWARD. There is no use in looking back on the past with regret and dwelling on past mistakes. Consider me Kelvin Rodeo 2.0. I'm back, I'm in charge, I'm fired up and ready to go!!! My life has only just begun, and this time it's going to be great. Because I said it will be. No more hang-ups. No more self-pity. No more wallowing in my sorrows.

I love my life, and I love my business and everyone involved in it. I am going to do whatever it takes to be successful. It's a done deal. Thank you, Matt Fromm, for believing in me and making sure that I got to this Function. It truly has changed my life, and I am glad to have you as my upline and friend.

Get ready, world, because Kelvin Rodeo is back and better than ever!

Wow, it's been a while...

So I have been out of commission for a really long time; I was kinda taking some time to try to reorganize my life and determine where my priorities in life were. Not to mention the military life was starting to take a toll on me, as I was moving around a lot in the past couple of months. Now, however, I am back in action, and will (try to, at least) be blogging on a "regular" basis... A lot of things are happening back home, and they are issues that demand action. Action from us, the people of the Commonwealth. A lot of them are just old issues being brought back to the table for more discussion, but I think that those are some of the most important things to talk about these days. Most people would disagree with me, they would say that we have CUC, the economy, stray dog problem, etc whatever they can insert there to be a more pressing matter for the CNMI. They are thinking in the now, and I am trying to think a few steps ahead of the game here.... So anyway, I am currently writing a letter to Representative Bordallo of Guam about the Marianas Trench Marine National Monument..... As many of you know, this is quite the pressing issue at the moment. Many people will just ignore it because they are uninformed as to what is going on or how important this really is to us..... but I hope to change that. Keep on the lookout for future updates from me. I'm back, and I'm gonna be writing a lot. You all should too. Let your voices be heard, CNMI.

Rodeo, out.

The Crazy old dude on the bus

So I'm sitting here on a bus up to Oceanside and there's this old dude sitting in a chair by himself having a full on conversation with himself. Either that or there's some invisible person there that only he can see or hear, lol. It's so weird though... He's been going at it or like the past half hour!! O.o Gotta love the crazies we have here in SoCal...

Fair winds and following seas, Angelo Villagomez!

So this post is kinda late, as I had intended to post it earlier in the week but a lot of things came up so i never finished it..... better late than never, I suppose.

By the end of the week, the island of Saipan will be bidding farewell to one of the greatest public figures that it has ever seen. Angelo Villagomez, whom we all know and have come to love in the past four years, is moving on to the next chapter of his life and leaving Saipan for Florida. In the past four years that he has been on Saipan, he has done so much for the community; a lot more than many other public figures have ever done. No, he never loaned out picnic tables or tents for those big parties that we all love so much. What he did, and what he will be leaving us with, is so much more valuable. Just the establishment of Beautify CNMI alone is enough to write pages upon pages about. With Beautify CNMI, he managed to create a nonpartisan organization that united our people, regardless of which political party they belonged to, under the common goal of beautifying our islands. Together, we have successfully cleaned, and will continue to clean many areas on island in our mission to rid the islands of the various eyesores that pollute our image. While I cannot be there in person, I fully support the mission of Beautify CNMI. In a politically divided CNMI, it is the one thing that unites us under one vision, the vision of a beautiful and tourist-friendly vacation destination. We have Angelo to thank for that.

He has inspired so many of us to take action and speak out for what we believe in. The amount of participation by my peers in political and environmental discussions has skyrocketed thanks to all of his efforts. He truly was an inspiration to us all and the catalyst for change in many. He has paved the way for all of us to go, and now it is our job to continue on with what he started. He may not be on island anymore, but we can continue carrying out his (and our) dream of creating and sustaining another beautiful and prosperous CNMI. I have spoken to a lot of my friends and former classmates from home, and they have all expressed an interest in returning home someday to try to help our islands rise up from the ashes, when those very same people had once picked up their bags and left saying that they would never return because there was no hope left. Angelo has brought that spark of hope back for many of us, and I will be forever grateful for that. As for me, I never gave up hope. I kept trying to convince my peers that there would always be hope as long as we never gave up on our islands, but many of them didn't see that hope until Angelo came into the picture and showed us all what was possible with hard work, dedication, and a little bit of faith.

And so, it is now up to us, CNMI, to carry on with his vision. Let's all continue to work together to help make our dreams a reality. We can do it. Just look at everything we have accomplished in the last couple of years. Think about how much more we can accomplish if we just keep on with it for the next couple of years and into the future! Thank you so much for everything you have done for us and our home, Angelo. Your presence on island will truly be missed, and the day of your return someday in the future will be a greatly anticipated event. May you have a safe journey to Florida and may you continue to be successful where ever your life takes you. We hope to see you again someday.

Once again, I have failed to update....

I know it's been a while, folks... I've been real busy with the Navy.... they've been moving me around all over the place for the past two months, and even now I'm still not at a permanent command so life is still pretty hectic for me right now.... Angelo Villagomez is saying his big farewell to our Island soon, and that's going to be a day that we all dread... I'm currently trying to write a letter on that whole thing, it should be out later this week. I'm putting a lot of thought and heart into it so hopefully it'll turn out good.

holy crap

wow I haven't posted anything in a while.... I suppose part of the reason is that I've been too busy lately... and also part of the reason is that it gets kinda hard to keep five different blogs up to date.... yes, I have five separate blogs.... they are all for different things. oh well. been tired lately. bored too. but also been spending lots of time at the gym, so I suppose that's a good thing.

Angelo Villagomez speaks to the Saipan Chamber of Commerce

The Chamber of Commerce hosted a forum for the nine candidates vying for Mayor of Saipan during their general monthly meeting at PIC yesterday. Each candidate was given three minutes to speak, and this is the text of Angelo's speech.

==================================================================================

Hafa Adai and Tirow. It is an honor to be able to speak here today. Jim, Kyle, and Kelli, thank you for the invitation. Gentlemen…and lady.. it is an honor to share a stage with so many who gave given to our community over the years. This is the only public forum where all mayoral candidates will have the chance to appear together and I thank the chamber board and membership for giving the community, especially the business community, the opportunity to hear from all of us.



Before I get started I wondered if I could quickly poll the audience. With a show of hands, who here depends on tourism for their business?



Come on now, who in this room depends on tourism to put food on the table?



Alright, thank you.



That’s almost everybody in this room.



And I would add to those hands the government workers who depend on you paying taxes to fund their salaries.



Tourism is everyone’s business is not a meaningless phrase.



Tourism is the lifeblood of our economy and the focus of the entire government right now, even the mayor’s office, should be working to figure how to help YOU create jobs and pump money into this sinking economy.



So how will a Mayor Angelo administration support tourism and help YOU create jobs?



Destination Enhancement.



But what does that mean?



For starters I will continue my practice of going out with community groups and planting beautiful trees around our villages and continuing to encourage public participation, just as I have for the last 4 years. In fact, if you would like to join us, I will be with the boy scouts this Saturday morning planting flame trees in Koblerville.



I will take care of our dead dog and stray dog problems once and for all. I’ve worked for years with PAWS, but as a private citizen I do not have the authority to implement the regulations that are already written or to hand out the dog tags that are sitting on a shelf in the mayor’s office. Tinian was able to build a shelter and implement a program for under $10,000 AND they picked up 1000 strays in the first six months. There is NO reason we cannot follow their example.



AND I will continue to do what I am probably best well known for doing, which is to go out every weekend and pick up trash off our beaches, parks, and roads.



And as mayor I will finally have the authority as one of the eight government agencies charged with enforcing public law 6-37, the CNMI Litter control act.



Destination enhancement is also about taking care of our tourist sites, especially our natural tourist sites, which most believe are the main draw to these islands. When we get a lot of rain, like we did this past weekend, coral secondary roads wash out onto into our lagoon, damaging the coral and reducing water quality. This degrades year after year the main attraction that draws tourists to Saipan.



Paving the roads to Laolao, Obyan, and Mount Tapachou is an investment in maintaining our tourist sites and our dive sites…and has the added side effect of being good for the environment.



Destination enhancment is also about community programs and community events. Today’s tourist is not satisfied with simply sitting on a beach. They want local interaction and immersion. We have some great signature events with the Taste of the Marianas, Flame Tree Festival, Tagaman, Xterra, and Hell of the Marianas and those need to continue. But with dwindling resources, I believe there is a proposal to slash MVAs budget by a third or more, I would propose that the Mayor’s Office can supplement those community events. How about a series of road races called the Mayor’s Grand Prix? How about promoting our agricultural fairs and our fishing derbies right along side our other marquis events?



Destination enhancement is also about getting Saipan online. Working in partnership with MVA, the mayor’s office could facilitate access to information about Saipan. An online community calendar advertising these events in one place in multiple languages would allow today’s tourist to plan their vacation around our community events. And the way we would reach these tourists is to use social networking websites like Mixi, Facebook and Twitter. I do this for my personal website and attract about 40,000 unique visitors per month. We could easily apply these techniques to our marketing of Saipan.



These are reasonable, attainable goals my administration could accomplish in the first term. These will be the priorities of my first years in office.



In accomplishing these goals I will do what I have been doing for the last several years. I will rely on the private sector, the community, and various government agencies to come together like we have done on so many community projects these last few years.



I have learned a lot these last few years on how to get things done here. I am ready to apply these skills NOW TODAY as your Mayor.



Finally, I realize that there are also a host of other activities and services that the Mayor’s office presently maintains or facilitates. One of my first tasks will be to conduct an audit to determine the effectiveness of the office, so that the Mayor’s office and its budget can focus on providing our community, and our small businesses, with the platform that is needed to keep us in business.



I humbly ask for your support in this upcoming election. My name is Angelo O’Connor Villagomez, please visit my website at angelovillagomez.com.



I will be happy to speak with anyone and answer any questions following the close of these presentations.



Again, thank you for the opportunity to speak today.



Si yu’us ma’ase and God bless.

==================================================================

He did an excellent job, and as it turns out, he is quite the public speaker. Off the subject for a little bit, watching his YouTube video made me remember all those years of public speaking competitions that I did back in the day, and now I actually really miss it all. I participated in various on- and off-island public speaking competitions and events from the 6th through 12th grades, so it was definitely a part of me. All those years of training has made me into the speaker that I am today. Of course, I haven't had an opportunity for public speaking in a while, so I'd probably be a bit rusty if the opportunity suddenly arose. Going back to Angelo, though, as I watched his video, I could see various elements of things that I had been taught over the years being applied in the presentation of his speech. It made for a very good attention-grabbing speech, if you ask me. Go watch it for yourselves at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgQraAC_jAU.

And so, my fellow absentee voters (and my friends on Saipan who read my blog), I am once again asking you to vote for Angelo for Mayor in this year's election. If you aren't registered to vote, then damn, you missed out on a good year to vote, but please spread the word about Angelo's platform to all your friends and convince them to vote for him as well. Thank you for your time.

The Saipan Blog: Mayoral Candidate invites voters on a tropical island tour

Vote for Angelo for Mayor of Saipan!

To all my friends from Saipan who read my blog, I'm asking you to cast your vote for Angelo this year. He's done so much for us already, and I believe that he can do so much more as Mayor. I couldn't help him in person, so instead I made a donation to his campaign through Paypal. I'd like for you all to do the same. It doesn't matter how much you donate, because any donation helps his campaign out. This time around, Angelo is offering a tour of one of one of four great spots on island to those who donate $20 or more to his campaign. Click on the link below for more information. I believe in Angelo, and I ask that you do the same. Let's all vote for Angelo Villagomez for Mayor of Saipan so that we will have a safer, cleaner, and more beautiful island whenever we go back home.

The Saipan Blog: Mayoral Candidate invites voters on a tropical island tour

VOTING IN THE CNMI GENERAL ELECTION 2009

Greetings all,

Seeing as how the time to vote is coming up, and a lot of us are still in the dark about what exactly these gubernatorial candidates are planning to do if they win, I went out and did some research to try to find their platforms.... It didn't take me long, mind you, as all I had to do was go to their websites and click on Platform. Who'd've thought that it was really that easy, huh? Lol. Anyway, we need to all be educated voters this year, so for those of you who still don't know anything about these candidates, here are the links to their platforms. I highly encourage you all to take the time to read through them all before you make your decision on who to vote for.
Juan Pan & Joe Camacho: http://www.juanpan.jncamacho.com/platform.php
Heinz Hofschneider & Arnold Palacios: http://www.heinzarnold2009.com/downloads/HP_Brochure.pdf (For these two, the link to their Platform is broken, but on their main page they have this little brochure that I'm pretty sure serves the same purpose.)
Ramon Guerrero & David Borja: http://www.yes2kumoiborja.com/platform.php
Ben Fitial & Eloy Inos: http://www.ben-eloy.com/platform.asp


I hope you all go through these pages and read and get as much information as possible so that you can make an educated vote this year. You'll feel a lot better about yourself after the election, knowing that you didn't just do some spur-of-the-moment random vote this year (I know a bunch of my friends back in the last election really had no idea who to vote for so they all voted for Fitial just because everyone else seemed to be so positive about him). I will try to also find the platforms and websites for the candidates for Mayor and the other offices, but I can't guarantee you anything. Let's all work together here to help make our islands a better place. It starts with YOU, the voters. You have the power in you to help make a difference.


Thank you for your time.
Remember to vote responsibly this year,


ASAN Kelvin Rodeo
AIMD/IM-4
Command Color Guard co-coordinator
Command Exhibition Rifle Drill Team co-coordinator
USS John C. Stennis CVN-74
Bremerton, WA

Gi Talo Gi Halom Tåsi

So for today I am a lot more homesick than usual, and I thought I'd go over something that will always be a part of me and will always take me home, no matter where I am in the world. It's our very own CNMI Anthem. It's what we all grew up learning and singing at just about every special event back home, and it's definitely something that hits home every time it is sung. It's definitely a song that will always be special to me and will never grow old, no matter what. For those of you who can't understand Chamorro or Carolinian, I have included an english translation of the lyrics. So, without further ado, here it is, the CNMI Anthem, sung by my MHS Student Council President (I was her Vice President in '07) Juanette Villagomez.

Gi Talo Gi Halom Tåsi/Satil Matawal Pasifiko (CNMI Anthem)







Chamorro:







Gi talo gi halom tåsi



Nai gaige tano-ho



Ayo nai siempre hu såga



Malago' ho



Ya un dia bai hu hånåo



Bai fåtto ha' ta'lo



Ti siña håo hu dingo



O tano-ho







CHORUS:







Mit beses yan mås



Hu saluda håo



Gatbo na islas Mariånas



Hu tuna håo







Carolinian (Refalawasch):







Satil matawal Pacifico



Igha elo faluweey iye



Ighilal igha ebwe lootiw



Tipeey iye



Eew raal nge ibwe mwetesangi



Nge ibwal sefaalitiiy Ese mmwel bwe ibwe lighiti



Bwe falaweey







CHORUS:







Sangaras faal bwughuwal



Ay tirow ngalugh



Ling ghatchul teel



Faluw Mariånas



Ay Mwareiti







English Translation:







In the middle of the sea



Is where my home is



That is where I will spend my days



It is my desire



If I ever leave this place



One day I will return



For I can never leave you



O land of mine







CHORUS:







A thousand times and more



I will honor and salute you



Beautiful islands of the Mariånas



Glory be to you

My Labor Day 2009.

So, while the rest of America is out at parks having picnics or in the wilderness having a little mini-campout, I am here, at home, with Dylan. All day. It's just been the two of us, until just about half an hour ago, when Den came home, with an unexpected guest. Yeah, she brought her little guy friend over, the one that she had spent like the whole weekend with. I guess it's a good thing that we cleaned up the house as soon as we got home. Still though, I'm stuck here at home just using the internet on labor day while the rest of America is out having picnics and family gatherings and shit. What a bummer. I ended up spending most of my day analyzing the rest of the audio files of our Ouija board sessions (which I am not even completely done with) and monitoring for EVPs. Yep, that's my labor day for ya. I can't even have fun and drink on Labor Day, because of my surgery.... ugh this sucks!!